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How's this... for a photograph?

I don't have lines on my face yet...
But...
Once upon a time, this would have been a dedication to a... situation(ship) where it would have been a heartfelt admission.

?

Now... It's a set of fantastic, simple lyrics, to the tune of blissful, loaded nostalgia; And a bittersweet reminder of how foolish it was to ever think I was made for someone who never really knew me, and only liked the idea of me.

Until never.

-The Story by Cranius-

You want a heart felt explanation?

Check this conversation out, as my family is downing in godly veils. Normal conversations with cousins, generally trying to poke at me and my unabashed loathing of god and and everything he embodies. This question was posed various times

C: dude why are you so angry?
Me: I'm not angry.
C: you use the word hate a lot.
Me: that's a feeling. I can share how I feel about things without being in that emotion at the time of sharing.
C: fine. Why are you so hateful towards god? Like, what if you met him?
Me: I'll indulge. According to you, and everyone that believes... I'll... simply die?
C: huh what--why?
Me: we can't perceive god, in 'his true form' remember? We up and die. So I'll die. Next question.
C: oh my god. Fine! He appears in front of you, in human form. What do you do?
Me: so he is appearing in front of me, completely human?
C: yes.
Me: and he lets me know, clearly that he is god?
C: yes, what would you do? Shit your pants, right?

Me: I would punch him in the face with all my might.

C: wtf! Why...no... I'm waiting my time there. But .. It's god!
Me: yea, that's why I'm punching him in the face, I thought we were establishing this.
C: no... He's god. You'd break your hand.
Me: is it really god, in person, In front of me?
C: yes!
Me: then I break my hand attempting to jam it into his nose.
I will, break my arm attempting to end him, through his face. What part of, if actual god is standing in front of me, I will use all my human strength to violently destroy him, is so hard to understand?
C: holy shit dude...
Me: you asked. I replied.
C: you can't be that upset.
Me: I am actually exponentially more upset than that.
C: he didn't do anything to you.
Me: oh... It's this party-line is it?
Okay. Is everything part of god's plan? Or can we change it?
C: we can't change it, because it's his plan.

Me: so tell me, is me being this pissed off at the cunt, part of his plan, or did he just... Ever so slightly fuck up? And before you answer, think hard... And ask yourself, which answer, should make me hate him less?

I'm at war with an invisible piece of shit. Angry doesn't even cover it.

COMMENTS

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EstrangedOne
04:08 Jul 25 2023

ROFLMGDAO!!!!
Oh, I don't even know where to begin, on this one. The hilarity, the monotony, or what... Lol
This is genuinely great, brother. And so disturbingly accurate, it's absurd. I can only give you the Devil Horns of Metal, here.

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Slain
15:51 Jul 26 2023

Lol. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I share these ridiculous snippets of my life so others get a a glimpse and hopefully find amusement like I do.

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~A Loving Hate. ~

Do your days run together...
in a blurry film like mine ceaselessly do?
Do the wounds glaze over
with a searing, healing never knew?

Does time pass towards
the inevitable same brutal place?
Do you feel like quite the coward
while confronting things others don't face?

Does your anger feed that drowning
spiteful need to be just that little bit more?
To run away bravely, throttling
yourself to swim the riptides along that fucking shore?

Your anger is your soul's price and your gift.
With it you can destroy the source of that inner rift.
Be ruthless and unmerciful and true
towards that which wants to destroy you.
And may you be strong enough to
outlast the hate that doesn't come from within you.
Because nothing can surmount your being
that is not truly your own loathing.
Hate others for loving to hate.
And cure your delusions of not caring of late.
For its your hating that brightly signifies
that a deep love within you safely resides.
So Love, my dear hated one. Love with all of your hate.
And don't let the baited breaths your heart succumb, and jade.
Love with all of your hate, because you dare to know you can.
Love with all of your hate, because you must and understand...
False platitudes, quotes, and stances love too little and love too late
No source of Love can be real, from those not willing to hate.

COMMENTS

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EstrangedOne
20:26 Jul 15 2023

Okay... This one is so filled with bittersweet irony, I don't know what I like more - the almost-off-kilter rhythm, the contrast in it, the seemingly perfect rhyme...
I am damn near speechless, here. NICE.

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Slain
15:57 Jul 26 2023

I force the rhyme sometimes and pretend like I have an idea of what I'm doing with the words as I paint my emotions. I try to not dilude the emotion while seeking poecy. Im glad it's decent enough for others to like even a small part. And irony and opposites are favorites to toy with.

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I think the person who saw the last unicorn in existence had ocd. And had a meltdown. "Nope. Not dealing with this uneven shit! The rhinoceros was enough. Horns come in pairs damnit. Therefore, you're now fake!"

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EstrangedOne
16:22 Jul 14 2023

I'm not sure about the "OCD" bit. But I can guarantee they were too afraid of the fragility of reality.

Fraidycat: "EVERYTHING IS FAKE, DAMMIT!!!"

Reality: "Bite me, Bitch."

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Slain
21:29 Jul 14 2023

lmfao

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Only I could get into an argument with the internet.

I'm searching ALL FIGURES OF SPEECH.

Every article I read starts with "the most common figures of..." --- no fuck face. I want ALL OF THEM.

Not just the common ones, not just the cute ones. Not just the ones that write home to mom every month. I fucking want All. Of. Them.

My father had me memorize a short list of them when growing up. And it turns out, the list is slightly longer.

And between:
Figures of speech, Tropes, and Schemes, a select few are repeated and I need to understand why.

I had set aside a project... Years ago, where I would practice each and every single one in some writing challenge for myself. This was right out of high school, so some things occurred that more or less derailed that train.

Looking at these lists, I recall the size, but now that task seems a little daunting.

Seriously internet... Does no one provide just a factual list of shit?

It's like typing in 'give me a list of all the colors', and the bitch being like... The most common colors are... No.

Fuck. You.

All my stolen English books are... Inaccessible for the time being.

COMMENTS

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EstrangedOne
20:27 Jul 12 2023

I don't think you're the only one who can get into an argument with the internet (myself included, at times). But Ya, unfortunately, there is so much bullshit in the minds of society, these days, that most people believe nothing but lies (kind of ironic that one of my latest/coming songs points out just that), thus there is so much crap on the web. Some days, I wonder if the only truth to the world of the web lies in the Dark Web (which realistically, makes up easily more than a hundred fold what we see on any public search engine.

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Slain
21:30 Jul 14 2023

I've been considering the same. I don't have the patience to learn to surf there at the moment.

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If you've never questioned what may have pushed a person to do something bad, you've not yet known a unique form of suffering.

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EstrangedOne
19:14 Jul 08 2023

I am finding this statement almost almost too familiar, brother. It's almost strange, really.

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Slain
07:26 Jul 12 2023

It's maddening.

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